How Can I Criticize My Colleagues?

I wonder if you have already discovered:

These so-called "skinned" colleagues usually have two ways to show their attitude to "die rather than be criticized".

Two types of "

The first is shame. When you speak of him, he blush and sit on his back. What's more, tears seem to flow down and make you feel wrong: you are the one who has the wrong punishment.

The second way is to respond in a way of attack. When the table is clapped and the eyes are glared, it immediately scolds back: "who do you think you are? Why do you think I have done it wrong?" scared you to see a psychiatrist.

Sounds familiar, huh!

In fact, such a colleague, whether from a manager's point of view or from a co-operative colleague's point of view, will cause people to have the pain of "afraid you can't open your heart." I want to say, but I don't know how to say it. If he doesn't say that he doesn't change his working condition, everyone will suffer.

Why do some people have such thin skinned faces?

What we call "thin skinned" is, from a psychological point of view, the biggest reason is that it stems from the poor sense of self value, that is to say, whether it is embarrassed or offensive, it is due to lack of self-confidence.

People who are genuinely confident are able to accept others' criticisms in an open mind and accept their criticisms and find opportunities for progress.

The reason for the big difference is that their inner monologue is very different.

A shy person's inner monologue is: "he probably doesn't like me."

Therefore, in the face of criticism, it is easy to have a "withdrawal" communication reaction.

The attacker, in his heart, is so Voiceover: "why do they think they are the old ones? Why do they always pick on me?" so they will start the "self defense mechanism" and begin to enter the state of provocative attack.

How can we talk to these thin skinned colleagues in order to let the other side be willing to improve?

First, describe the thing itself.

People who are thin skinned are accustomed to treating others' negative feedback as personal attacks against themselves. So you should first describe the matter clearly, so that he can know that your advice is coming from itself, rather than aimless: "yesterday's report, there were several obvious mistakes in it."

Please remember not to say "you" as much as possible, but to talk about things, that is to say, to talk about actions without talking about actors.

If you say so, "the report you handed in yesterday is a mistake."

It's easy to step on his mood.

Second, show the heart of understanding.

In order to alleviate his insensitive inferiority complex, at first, add a layer of emotional safety Internet Cafe: "I understand this process very hasty, time is too fast......"

In this way, he will easily regard you as a friend, not an enemy.

Third, let the other party have the opportunity to explain.

At this time, he asked him pleasantly, "what do you think?" to give him an opportunity to explain, will not let him feel the injustice of the loss of reason.

Fourth, I would like to ask him his advice.

Before asking your mind to improve his behavior, ask him what ideas he has to change the current poor situation, so that the improved behavior will be better from his mouth.

Fifth, put forward your hope.

If his answer does not satisfy you, then you can say your suggestion as a leader or a colleague: "I suggest that you check it three times next time and finish it again."

Finally, summarize and thank each other.

So we can conclude this conversation: "I am glad that we have reached a consensus.

I really appreciate your help and cooperation.

In the process, if the other party is still in a state of anger and rage, the best way to respond is to say calmly, "I understand these discussions will make people unhappy. I am not malicious. I just want to find a better way of cooperation with you......"

Oh, have you noticed? In negative sentences, please do not use "I to you" words and gestures to speak, but communicate with the angle of "things to people", and weaken the opposition of "you VS me", so that he can return to the rational state of argument.